City in DISCO

Super upset rite now...

I mean like man Ur dad says this to ur face... "i trust u enough to study on ur own " like WTH!! I was super sad ... All i asked my dad was to go out after church to study with my friend... who was doing F maths ... which meant that he could help me with A maths ... and i've like some weird mental block when it comes to maths ... i jsut can't think other then the simple add, subtract, mulitpy, divide.. the rest are a blur to me... and the next ting he says was like ... "UR friends can help support u is it? they can feed u is it? " i was like FUCK LA ! what U wan ?! If it wasn't for my friends who help me in that 1 month b4 o lvls i would nv have gotten to where i am !

It is hard finding a close friend who has similar subject to study with u and help u in ur studies ... those that helped me in my secondary school were good pals man !! thanks ALOT !! and my dad was like saying apperently when i go out to study with my friend it nv helped but he nv think that i started too late? i only did that like 1 wk b4 my Mid-sem. test (MST) .. so like man i nv told him that actually our teacher gave us a smaller test not counted but still wan to know the diff. between the test and mst paper ... A 13% increase in my results ... !! in jus meeting my friend for barely 1 day odd... like around 2 to 3 days i get 13% and think abt it is hard to find a person that would sit down and study with me and at the same time after we have done our wrk like have fun watch a movie and so on... BUT the FACT that my dad don't trust me is very disheartening...

Today i totally felt that i was not wanted ... during church service i in a way cried ... i didn't noe why ... just did... i nv felt so depress over my parents and disappointed if i nv mention that... i usually feel disappointed like over some stupid r/s ... it was like as if there wasn't a reason to live... OMGOSH!! EMO... SHIT ... okay stopping.. i felt that way as i was thinking if i were to argue and walked out on this family and was thinking on how i would support myself ... so i decided that if i ever wrked during the holidays i'll be keeping my pay and opening a new bank account and i'll keep this from them in an event that i have to support myself i'll use this money to at least help me manage until i settle and get a better paying job... i was thinking that i might have to stay with one of my friend and their parents are very kind and they don't mind see... but still then it so happpens that i sold him my mac bk which was a spare and from what i heard he still haven't use it ... so well... haha i'll buy it back from him soon i hope 1.5K ... WOW i wonder how long i'll take... i'm not rich so ya it is gona take awhile...

Actually come to think abt it like yar although i got 1 friend that stay where i stay at pasir ris... he and i still aren't that close and like close enough but still i don't know him that well no offense i don't trust ppl that well but so far u have proven to be a very good friend... and i thank you for that... in my life i got abt only 2 or 3 best friend... Aloysius,Norman,Nicholas ,... it changes as time passes... but ... SP? wow like ... .... o.o...o.o ... o.o .... i don't know...

THIS part is for Jill... =) haha well u might think whats up right ? how abt this ... basiclly i think now i know why u say i dance for myself ... it is because b4 u came to a conclusion on the 19 june ur post u may wan to refer to that ... haha ... well true abt it still depends on the indiviual but hey GIRL!! We ( the ppl in dancesport) look from this point that is everyone dance with partners because the dance we are leaning is for 2 ppl to dance ... so it isn't that i disapprove ur thinking but hey why not just dance not just for urself but also for that partner u have chosen.. =) and i'm puzzled if u had learnt salsa why did u stay on in dancesport when we didn't have salsa? o.O haha ... And not follow daniel to the Changi Youth Ambassidor? MSN me k? haha maybe we can like talk abt it.. =) and i say that blog is a way to express urself like my blog i got sad things in it so it is okay ... to let friends know u? haha don't know man ... and if any classmates from SP reads this PLZ!! don't ask me question in like public ... i quite shy abt this can ? msn or if we are walkin to class no one around then ask la...

haha Geesh ... friends thanks for visiting... i'll try to change the blog skin so bare with this plain one first as i'm still thinking on what theme i should change to... for now black is nice and simple and why black u might ask ? it is not becos i'm EMO okay!! it is a way to safe the earth u noe if the website is white compared to a black one the white one uses more power and therefor it ain't reducing..

Duncan
thinking abt that girl i saw by the door not knowing who she was ...